A gift or present..

Yesterday is history..Tomorrow is a mystery...but today  is a Gift  that's why it is called present.

Good hand ....

Having sex is like playing bridge  ..if you dont have a good partner ..you better have a good hand ..lol..           You are never fully dressed without a smile... Beauty is Power .     Smile is the sword. A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks... So keeps smiling....    

Successful men.....

Behind every successful man is his women...Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another women.

Like your thinking..

A teacher asks her class '' If there are 5 birds sitting on the fence and you shoot down one of them, How many will be left''.       She calls on  little Sunny ,,  ''None'' They all fly away with the first gunshot.''    The teacher replies  '' The correct answer is 4 ,,BUT   I   LIKE  YOUR   THINKING ''.          Then little  Sunny  says.  I have a question for you . There are 3 women sitting on the bench having ice.cream.  One is licking the sides of the triple scoop of the ice.cream.  The second is gobbing down the top and sucking the cone . The third is biting off the top of the ice,cream,, "Which one is married.''   The teacher blushing a great deal replies .''Well''  I suppose the one that 's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone. The correct answer is  the one with the wedding ring on..But.'' I like your thinking..He He.

Too Cheeky..

One day a farmer buys a young rooster to copulate with the chickens   . He put the young rooster into the pen so that he can get down to business.      The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and say '' OK'' Old fellow, time to retire.       The old rooster says '' You cant handle all these chickens and look at what it did to me. The young rooster replied''Now dont give a hassle about this''.       Time  for the old rooster to step aside and the young to take over.Then the old rooster says''  'Come on just let me have the two old hens over in the corner and I wont bother you.      The young rooster says '' No  Beat it.. I m taking over.   Then the old rooster thinks for a minute and say to the young rooster.          I tell you what young fellow. I 'll race with you around the farm house.     Whoever win the race get domain of the chicken coup and if I m so feeble, why not you give me a little head start. '' Sure, Why not, you know that I 'll still beat you. ''     They line up at the back of the farmhouse ,get a chicken to chuck ''GO ''    The old rooster takes off running, next 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him.      They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster catch up nearer to the old rooster and gaining fast.       The farmer sitting on the pouch looks up and see what is going on, grab his shotgun ''BOON''    he blows the young rooster  to '' :KFC   'heaven.     He shakes his head gloomly and says..''SON OF A BITCH'' third gay rooster I bought this week...

Who is cleverer..

Did you know that Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity , they can train peaple to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

Home education.

CHILDREN...You spend the first two years of their life teachimg them to walk and talk.                  Then you spend the next sixteen years telling them to sit down and shut up.          Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, then to speak and remove all doubts.

Spiritually.

Someone asked God,    'If everything is already written in Destiny then why should we wish?     God smiled and said,Maybe I had written '' As you wish''        Then he asked God for a bike but he knows God doesn't work that way so he stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Maybe this was the way he wished for.

Meaning of life.

What is the meaning of life ?     Life itself  has no meaning .   Life is an opportunity to create a meaning       Life is all about a card game. choosing the right cards is not in our hand but playing well with the cards in hand determines our success .          One who wins without problems it's just a '' victory'' but  one who wins with lots of problems and troubles  , he created 'history''.            Life is also too ironic to understand      .It takes sadness to know what happiness is.      Noise to appreciate silence and absence to value presence. So value your life and enjoy it .

Opportunities And Mistakes.

 Yes, I have made 'Mistakes' because life doesn't come with  ' Instructions'        As you know lucky people get opportunities.      Brave people create opportunities but real winners are those who convert their problems and mistakes into opportunities.         Everyone act like a fresher in their own mistakes but in case of others problems ,everyone act like an experts.

Excellent Line

 You want and you get .--THat's Luck.  You want and you wait--That's Time. You want but compromise --That's  Life.  U want ,wait and don't compromise --That's success.

Nice saying.

FINE... Is a tax for doing wrong things.    TAX...Is a fine for doing right things.                        Success always hugs you in private but  "Failure" always slaps you in the public.                         We do not know the values of moments untill they become a memory.                                     Mistakes is a single page in a part of life but relation is a book of dictionary . So don't lose a full book for a single page.

Three Types Of People

How you define a wise man ,stupid man and a fool.        Wise man.   He who knows  and knows that he knows is wise.        Stupid man..He who knows and not knows that he knows is stupid.   A Fool.. He who not knows and not knows that he not knows is a fool.                                                              There are also three kinds of students.    1. Some make wonders happen . 2 . Some see wonders happen.  3 . Others wonder what happened.

Life's Excuses..

Your future depends on your dreams , "So go to sleep ".                                                            Since light travels faster than sound .people appear bright until you hear them speak.                                                               He is born intelligent  ...education ruined him.                                            If your father is a poor man , it is your fate but if your father - in -law is a poor man .it's your stupidity.                        Behind every successful man is his women . Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another women                                                                                            .             Think positive, it shows a correct way.    Think negative , it show a safe way.Dont think at all  ..it is the best way.

Wise Saying..

Do not argue with an idiot  because he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor:'s Degree  and the woman gets her Master's.       Marriage also requires a man to prepare FOUR types of rings.                                   1, The  Engagement Ring.     2,   The  Wedding Ring.         3. The Suffe Ring.   4, The Endu Ring..  So you see the wise never marry , when they do , they become  Otherwise.

Wise Saying..

 To meet and depart is the Way of life.    To depart and meet is the Hope of life.                                                         We meet to create memories but we depart to preserve it.                                              We listen to elders advice not because they are always Right but  because they have more experiences of being wrong.

Formula Of A Happy Life.

My friend was passing though a small town in Malacca when he saw a LITTLE OLD MAN  sitting in a rocking chair on the porch of a house.      As he was tired due to the hot whether so he stopped and said to the little old man.''  You look as if you don't have a care in the world , ...what 's your formula for a long and happy life ?           Little old man said..  '' Well , I smoke six packs of cigarettes a day and drink a quart of Todi every three hours plus six cases of beer a week.    I never wash and I go out  every night till dawn and sometimes forget to sleep too.''     And my friend was stunned and happilly exclaimed ,''Wow , that 's just great  how I wish I could enjoy a life like u...,and how old are you  now ,uncle ?          And the little old man replied,  ''Twenty- two ''.

Friends Or Foes

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.  As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung ,he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out. He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy.    A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.  Following the sound the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him.   .                                                                                                                                                                       Moral of the story  are....1..Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.....................................................................................................................................................................................................2Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.                                                                                                          3. HA HA> When in deep shit . it's best to keep your mouth shut...

Corporate lesson

 A crow was sitting on a tree  doing nothing at all day .  A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him.. '' Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long.''      The crow answered ,    '' Sure. why not ''     So the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and rested,      A ll of a sudden , a fox appeared  ,jumped on the rabbit and ate it..        Moral of this ....To be sitting and doing nothing , you must be sitting very , very ,very high up.

A Prayer For Stress

Grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change     .The courage to change things I cannot accept and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those peaple I had to kill today because they pissed me off.     And also ,help me to be carefull of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ''BUTT'' that I may have to kiss tomorrow.      Help me to remember when I  ' m having a really bad day and it seems that peaple are trying to piss me off, that it takes 42 muscles to FROWN and only 4 to extend my arm and smack the bastard  in the mouth.. ha ha ...By saying it  LOUDLY then maybe it will ease your  tension too.

No need brains to be a boss, any ass,hole will do.

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be the BOSS.    The brain said, '' I should be the Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions.       The feet said . '' We should be the Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go.'   '    The hands said.'' we should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money.''       And so it went on and on with the heart ,the lungs and the eyes untill finally the A.Hole spoke up.     All the parts laughed at the idea of the A,Hole being the Boss.       So the A.Hole went on strike , blocked itseft up and refused to work.      Within a short time the eyes became crossed ,the hands clenched, the feet twitched ,the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.     Eventually they all decided that the A Hole should be the BOSS.      So the  motion was passed.       All the other parts did all the work which the BOSS just sat and passed out the crap....

Bullshit might get you to the top but it wont keep u there.

A turkey was chatting with a bull.'' I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree'' Sighed the turkey ,but I havent got the energy.  Well.,  :'' Why dont you nibble on some of my droppings''   Replied the bull.  ''They "re packed with nutrients''.    The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strenght to reach the first branch of the tree.      The next day, after eating some more dung , he reached the second branch.     Finally after a fortnight , then he was proudly perched at the top of the tree,soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer who shot the turkey out of the tree..

WHAT APPRAISAL TERMS REALLY MEAN

1..Outgoing personality   .......Always out of the office.                                                                                       2.Great presentation skill ......Able to bullshit.                                                                                                     3.Good communication skills......Spend lots of time on the phone..                                                                     4.Average employee.. Not to bright.                                                                                                                                5.Exceptionally well-qualified.....Made no major blunders yet.                                                                                               6.Work is first priority........Too ugly to get a date..                                                                                                                  7.Quick thinking........Offers plausible excuses.                                                                                                   8.Carefull thinker.......Wont make a decision.                                                                                                     Career minded.....Back stabber.             Loyal....Cant get a job anywhere else..                                                           Exceptionally good judgement...Lucky..                                                                                                                       9.Good sense of humour..Knows a lot of dirty jokes.                                                                                                      10.Has leadership qualities.. Is tall or has a loud voice..                                                                                                                            

laugh it out

During my school day, we exagerated a lot till one of our teacher join in too for the fun of it.It was during high jump when a shortie couldnd clear where else all did .   .He stood up and told everyone that he didnt inherited his father gene...''..My father could touch the coconut leaves when he jump.''     ..He exclaimed loudly..  Then someone shouted .'.hey.!   '' My dad could even touches  the cloud when he leaps..'''      ....Everyone turned and started staring at him with some nasty look..''  what''      '' Your father can touch my father beard when he jump.''  '   Out of nowhere our P.E. teacher stood  up and everyone burst into laughter. That  was  the  best moment for everyone to exercise our face muscles........ha ha ha..

Last week I saw several guys chatting at a kopitiam in bahasa n they were mostly malaysian chinese n indian.later they were joined by some malays over a game of mahjong .. guess what language they communicated while playing ... u coundnt believe it. its hokkien language. . .what really amused me was their fluent flow of hokkien dillect n not a word of english nor bahasa melayu.  when the game was over .. well, guess what .. they conversed back in bahasa melayu.. I told my friends about it and won a free bat ku teh  dinner..not bad,   ...maybe a lots of free meals is on the way..ha ha ha..   if we are here to help others to understand malaysian cultures then what exactly the others are here for? .... buy free meals  lah..he hehe.

Rafil & I.

Tonight me and my buddy Rafil were as usual looking and talking about our coin collection at his house. Suddenly the fella started hounding me to put my thoughts /jokes/idea and all lah in a Blog ..hahaha .. So now all of you know how i started this blog.

So as my first entry or post I would like to say HALO and HAPO!!! The meaning in cantonese is prawn man and prawn woman ... HEHE..

I also would like to share a video with all you readers today Simple Exercise To Inrease back Strength.

Want to learn? Make sure your floor is dirty with lots of ants.

Well thats it for tonight I will most definitely start sharing stories of my life at this page from now on.

See you later...